You may think the common problem is because he leaves the toothpaste cap half on or that she keeps on coming back with a new dent on the car.
It is a scary thought – the idea that maybe tomorrow one of you will just come up to the other and say, “I think don’t want to be married to you anymore.”
One may think they’re ready for it, but the truth is, they never are. They see it coming from a distance, but unfortunately, they were too preoccupied with the problem, they forgot to look for a solution.
And that is what is commonly happening with married couples today. There is so much anticipation on looking out for the telltale marriage trouble signs that once the problem is in your face, hardly anything is done about it.
What are these “common marriage problems” that are being talked about so often? A lot will tell you these problems fall in any of these three categories: career and finances, fidelity and personality.
Strained marriages are rocked by problems from all of these categories but the marriages that survive do so because they addressed the problem properly and looked for a solution – together.
So just how do you actually do that? It is both simple and complex.
It is simple because it just requires you to admit to yourself and to your spouse that you have a problem. On the other hand, it is complex because both of you may not agree on what exactly the problem is and the solution for it.
For both of you to reach an agreement, you must be able to both listen and articulate. Listen first to what your spouse thinks is the problem that’s driving you apart.
After he/she has said her part, then carefully tell her what’s on your mind. This act of listening and communicating then brings to both your attentions the problems with your relationship and the causes for it.
However, the both of you need to take the next step by finding a solution to the problem. This is the tricky part for it will undoubtedly require adjustment from both sides. However, simply making the necessary adjustments alone will not address the problem.
You need to find the reason why you are making these sacrifices. And that reason should be because you love your spouse and want to build on the relationship making it stronger with time.
Whether it is a problem with spending, or with who gets to hold the remote control, marriage problems can be weathered when faced together and worked on together. In time, an open toothpaste tube, or another fender bender won’t have an effect at all on the relationship.
Learn more about how to Save Marriage and Family and more marriage help at http://officialfamily.info
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Growing Old with Each Other
Marriage is a serious commitment between two individuals. That commitment should be remembered no matter how long you have been together for a long time. It is a promise that the couple made in front of witnesses, not just on the wedding day but for the days and years beyond. It is a commitment that makes two people willing to grow old together no matter what the circumstances..
When two people are in a relationship, there are tantrums and petty fights that occur and such situations must be handled delicately until the matter has been laid to rest. Getting married will not make such negative situations go away. Professionals are sometimes needed to keep the love alive.
Marriage counselors do this by talking to the people involved by discussing the issues involved. Once the causes of the disagreement have been determined, solutions are created with the help of the counselor. Constant follow-up must be done.
One way of handling this is agreeing on a secret code that both have to agree and that will uplift the other person when necessary. This could be something memorable to the couple. A favorite place, memory, or word could be that clue. Another example for creating a secret code may involve injecting a little humor that will change tears into laughter. This can be a line from a movie or a cartoon that both love. I will mean nothing to others but is a sign that is said to the other person when things don’t go very well.
There are times when a husband or wife do not acknowledge the other when asked to perform a task or answer a question. When the acknowledgment is not made and the request is completed tempers often flare. Thinking about the consequences first is the advice of many counselors. Make the best of the situation and back off rather than making the situation worse
A marriage will have both happy and sad moments. These are the times that both have to pull together and rise above moment in order to make the marriage work. No one said that this task would be easy or that problems could be resolved with a snap of a finger. It is a partnership that both members must be involved with so that the relationship continues until both have reached their golden years. Work hard toward a common goal so this relationship can continue until both have reached their golden years.
Learn more about how to Save Marriage and Family and more marriage help at http://officialfamily.info
When two people are in a relationship, there are tantrums and petty fights that occur and such situations must be handled delicately until the matter has been laid to rest. Getting married will not make such negative situations go away. Professionals are sometimes needed to keep the love alive.
Marriage counselors do this by talking to the people involved by discussing the issues involved. Once the causes of the disagreement have been determined, solutions are created with the help of the counselor. Constant follow-up must be done.
One way of handling this is agreeing on a secret code that both have to agree and that will uplift the other person when necessary. This could be something memorable to the couple. A favorite place, memory, or word could be that clue. Another example for creating a secret code may involve injecting a little humor that will change tears into laughter. This can be a line from a movie or a cartoon that both love. I will mean nothing to others but is a sign that is said to the other person when things don’t go very well.
There are times when a husband or wife do not acknowledge the other when asked to perform a task or answer a question. When the acknowledgment is not made and the request is completed tempers often flare. Thinking about the consequences first is the advice of many counselors. Make the best of the situation and back off rather than making the situation worse
A marriage will have both happy and sad moments. These are the times that both have to pull together and rise above moment in order to make the marriage work. No one said that this task would be easy or that problems could be resolved with a snap of a finger. It is a partnership that both members must be involved with so that the relationship continues until both have reached their golden years. Work hard toward a common goal so this relationship can continue until both have reached their golden years.
Learn more about how to Save Marriage and Family and more marriage help at http://officialfamily.info
'Til death do us part? On solving marriage problems
In today’s world, the moment the spark is gone in a marriage, the couple would automatically consider divorce as the best solution. They want to be out of the relationship...fast. But marriage problems could be solved without going to the lawyer and filing for that separation.
Married couples always need a tip or two. So here they are: simple things that could save the marriage from a potential catastrophe.
1. One word: compromise.
A husband and a wife should make things work by both compromising. They must know when to give and when to take.
Remember that, for a relationship to grow, both parties must give way to the other.
2. Be positive.
A married couple has to always look at the brighter side. They must remember that they got married because they love each other and that they swore that they would be together until death would take them apart. For every shortcoming of the partner, the other must think of the 10 positive things that would somehow give redemption.
3. Have state-of-the-union talk.
This is important. The married couple could go out for a walk and talk. Both must be sympathetic listeners and should not dismiss each other's sentiments and complaints. They must remember that neither of the two should be rude.
4. Go on a trip.
Second honeymoon, anyone? Maybe what a "tired" married couple needs is just a time off, an escape to a place where love could be rekindled.
5. Solve one problem at a time.
Solve multiple problems by resolving one at a time. Trying to solve things all at once can be overwhelming and cause more disagreement.
6. Pray together.
A married couple might want to consider praying together and allowing some spiritual intervention. This might make things easier.
7. Seek professional help.
Sign up for a marriage retreat or consult a marriage counselor. This is a drastic step - but this would help the couple in the long run.
"I need space," "I don't think the marriage is working out," "Let's just split up," and "Meet my divorce lawyer" -- these statements are harsh and common to couples who are about to say goodbye to a lifetime commitment. While solving marriage problems is never a cinch, the couple must think that it would be more difficult to let go of a relationship that was once greatly revered than to rebuild it. Fight for that love!
Learn more about how to Save Marriage and Family and more marriage help at http://officialfamily.info
Married couples always need a tip or two. So here they are: simple things that could save the marriage from a potential catastrophe.
1. One word: compromise.
A husband and a wife should make things work by both compromising. They must know when to give and when to take.
Remember that, for a relationship to grow, both parties must give way to the other.
2. Be positive.
A married couple has to always look at the brighter side. They must remember that they got married because they love each other and that they swore that they would be together until death would take them apart. For every shortcoming of the partner, the other must think of the 10 positive things that would somehow give redemption.
3. Have state-of-the-union talk.
This is important. The married couple could go out for a walk and talk. Both must be sympathetic listeners and should not dismiss each other's sentiments and complaints. They must remember that neither of the two should be rude.
4. Go on a trip.
Second honeymoon, anyone? Maybe what a "tired" married couple needs is just a time off, an escape to a place where love could be rekindled.
5. Solve one problem at a time.
Solve multiple problems by resolving one at a time. Trying to solve things all at once can be overwhelming and cause more disagreement.
6. Pray together.
A married couple might want to consider praying together and allowing some spiritual intervention. This might make things easier.
7. Seek professional help.
Sign up for a marriage retreat or consult a marriage counselor. This is a drastic step - but this would help the couple in the long run.
"I need space," "I don't think the marriage is working out," "Let's just split up," and "Meet my divorce lawyer" -- these statements are harsh and common to couples who are about to say goodbye to a lifetime commitment. While solving marriage problems is never a cinch, the couple must think that it would be more difficult to let go of a relationship that was once greatly revered than to rebuild it. Fight for that love!
Learn more about how to Save Marriage and Family and more marriage help at http://officialfamily.info
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